The Importance of Raising Responsible Sons – Part 2: Strength Through Duty, Not Entitlement

Raising Responsible Sons

In Part 1, we exposed the dangerous trend of raising boys to expect service rather than cultivate responsibility. Some misunderstood this as “feminism,” but truth needs no labels—justice isn’t gendered. This isn’t about Western ideologies; it’s about Islamic principles and common sense. A man who can’t manage his own life is no leader—he’s a liability.

Raising Responsible Sons

1. The Myth of “Feminizing” Boys

Critics claim teaching boys chores or empathy “makes them feminine.” But since when did basic competence become a female trait? The Prophet ﷺ swept floors, stitched sandals, and served his family—was he “less of a man”?

• Fact: The Sahaba (رضي الله عنهم) trained sons in cooking (like Anas ibn Malik serving the Prophet for a decade).
• Today’s Failure: Boys who can’t boil an egg but demand “hot meals on time” from their wives.

Is dependency really masculinity—or just laziness with excuses?

2. Islam’s Blueprint: Men of Action, Not Excuses

Allah commands:
“وَأْمُرْ أَهْلَكَ بِالصَّلَاةِ وَاصْطَبِرْ عَلَيْهَا”
“And enjoin prayer upon your family and be steadfast therein.” (20:132)

Notice: The order is to lead, not to outsource. A Muslim man’s duty includes:

• Self-reliance (not waiting for women to manage his life).
• Household contribution (following the Sunnah, not cultural laziness).
• Accountability (Umar رضي الله عنه punished his son for arrogance—no nepotism).

Would today’s “pampered princes” pass the Salaf’s standards?

3. The Feminist Deception vs. Islamic Justice

Let’s be clear:

• We reject feminism—it’s a secular movement that mocks gender roles ordained by Allah.
• We uphold fairness—Islam gave women rights 1,400 years ago without hating men.

Key Difference:

• Feminism says: “Men are oppressors—destroy masculinity.”
• Islam says: “Men are guardians—live up to the responsibility.” (Quran 4:34)

A true Muslim man doesn’t fear strong women—he inspires them through his integrity.

4. Mothers: The First Line of Defense

A Hadith warns:
“كفى بالمرء إثمًا أن يضيع من يعول”
“It is enough sin for a man that he neglects those under his care.” (Abu Dawud)

Mothers who spoil sons commit double injustice:

1. To their daughters—raised to serve spoiled brothers.
2. To their sons—raised to fail as husbands and fathers.

Solution:

• Stop “special treatment”—no extra servings, no cleaned-up messes.
• Teach real-world skills—budgeting, cooking, emotional control.
• Praise effort, not ego—”Masha’Allah, you fixed your own mistake!” builds character.

5. The Marriage Crisis: Wives Are Not Rehabilitation Centers

The cultural “solution” of “Shaadi kar ke sambhal jayega” is:

• Unjust to women (why must they pay for your parenting failures?).
• Humiliating for men (adults needing “basic training” from their wives).

A Moroccan proverb says:
“A man who can’t build his own tent shouldn’t marry into one.”

Final Warning: Raise Men, Not Overgrown Children

This isn’t about feminism—it’s about preventing societal collapse. When boys are raised as entitled kings:

• Divorces rise (women refuse to be unpaid maids).
• Homes fracture (men can’t handle conflict maturely).
• Deen weakens (a negligent man neglects his Salah first).

Part 3 Preview: How fathers must step up—“Your son mirrors you. What reflection will he see?”

— Discussion —
Do you agree? Share your experiences below.
(Note: Comments promoting gender hatred—against Islamic ethics—will be deleted.)